For better or worse this song has become the anthem of many group chats this year as my cohort and I have begun to turn the wonderful age of 30. Which is a little sad because Mr. Burnham is pretty despondent around the idea of entering his fourth decade and this song’s popularity makes me wonder if everyone is as bummed as him to turn the age I turn today.
To be fair, 30 is a weird age. It’s somewhat of a bridge age. On one side of the bridge you have your single and youthful friends who are living a totally unencumbered life. Many of my friends are doing much of the same types of things we were all doing around 25. On the other side of the bridge you have the “adults” who are settling down, buying a house, having children, etc etc. Many of us stand somewhere in the middle. Nostalgically looking back at the life that we loved living without a real desire to continue living it and nervously anticipating the future for which we are not sure we are yet ready.
The reason for this self-indulgent birthday post is because I’m right smack dab in the middle of the bridge and I felt this was the perfect time to reflect on what this confusing age means to me and how I’m looking at the next decade of my life.
Why are people so bummed about a number?
The discourse around turning 30 and my own experience with it (and that of my friends) has been discombobulating. Much of what is said by people who turn 30 is depressing. More people than I can count have celebrated their 30th with a “I’m old as f**k” or something similar. Which is quite frankly insane because if you live to the median expected age you have well over half of your life remaining.
Then there is this recent trending chorus statement of “This is 30” which sounds whenever someone describes a somewhat adult behavior or mentions an injury or a proclivity for getting more sleep. If ever anyone mentions going to bed early or getting an undeserved hangover the seemingly required response is “Well, this is 30.” Which puzzles me because it’s not as if going from 29 years and 364 days to 30 years and 0 days makes any meaningful difference.
On some level it makes sense. If you want to feel bad about turning 30 all you have to do is ask someone in their early 20s what they think about people who are 30. Because I want to protect my fragile ego I’ve refrained from doing this but I know enough about what I thought of 30 year olds when I was 21 to know that’s an answer I quite frankly don’t need to hear.
For more depressing takes on turning 30 you can look anywhere in the realm of athletics. Athletes that are still playing when they’re 30 are often considered to be in the twilight of their career and any additional productive years beyond that are considered bonus time.
I think the general sentiment around this age is so negative because those who are 30 are facing the idea of “aging” for the first time. While the aging process itself is incremental, 30 is the first age where there is a number that signals that “Yes, you are getting older”. For that reason 30 is a relevant milestone, even if those who turn 30 are only one day out of their twenties.
30 for me
No, nothing magically changed for me at midnight last night but I feel strongly that 30 is a big milestone and one to be weirdly proud of. I’ve survived for 3 decades! That’s not nothing!
As a newly anointed 30 year old I’m old enough to know a few things and have been humbled enough times to know I don’t know everything. I am (somewhat) competent in more than a few areas of my life and am useful to people from time to time. I’m young enough that I still feel I have my whole life in front of me and old enough to have a few achievements to be proud of.
From my position on the bridge I have a great view of my twenties and I’m proud to say that I have no regrets from that decade. I feel ready for the next phase of “adult” life even though I’m not quite there yet. Yes age is just a number but the way I feel about 30 is that its an age that perfectly describes my progress in the one life I have to live.
Onwards and Upwards
I still vividly remember a conversation I had with my parents before I left for college. I was a senior in High School and had just enjoyed the most fun year of my young life. I had a blast on the baseball team, I had a great group of friends and I had finally figured out how to navigate high school. My parents asked me how I was feeling about leaving Colorado to go to USC for college and I told them that I was nervous because I couldn’t fathom how life could get any better than it was right then.
In hindsight that was an insanely naive perspective. No one of interest says that high school was the best period of their lives but I think that applies for anyone who says that any time in the past was the best. I personally believe that each year I have lived has been the best one ever and my increasingly high expectations continue to get blown out of the water. The year leading up to my 30th birthday has not been without its share of challenges but I firmly believe it was the best year of my life so far. This being the case for at least the last 13 years of my life makes me think that the years on the other side of 30 are going to continue to trend in that same upwards direction. Yes, I get sore a lot easier now and no I can’t stay up until sunrise without paying a much steeper price but here I stand fitter, happier, healthier, and wiser than I’ve ever been in my life. I’m convinced that my thirties are going to be the best years of my life (and then things will only improve from there).
How I’m celebrating
To celebrate my birthday this year I’m actually going on a trip for one of my closest friend’s bachelor party. There will be 10 of us going to the Cascade mountains outside of Seattle and in an atypical bachelor party weekend we will be going for a 20 mile hike through the Enchantments, an aptly named section of mountains that seems to be almost too beautiful to be real.
This gargantuan physical task is similar to those that I’ve done on previous birthdays. In 2019 I ran a “Solothon” in New York on the hottest day of the year the day after my birthday. In 2020 I hiked 26 miles up Pikes Peak in Colorado. The older I get the more I appreciate what my body can do and the more that it seems true to me that age is really just a number and if you treat yourself right you’ll be doing things seemingly meant for a younger generation well up into your actual old age.
So if you’re feeling down about getting older take this as your sign to chin up and embrace it. The best year of your life is the one you’re currently living.
"The best year of your life is the one you’re currently living."❤️
Happy birthday old man, don't go losing your edge now